By Karen Arukesamy
There is a quiet tension that has been weighing on me for some time. I find myself returning to the same questions – how are we living and presenting Christ as Catholics? Are we really placing our focus on Him in everything we do?
These questions stem from repeated experiences and patterns I have observed in our Church.
It is often in the small, everyday moments that our priorities become visible. How we respond to a sincere question. How we speak of conversion and measure readiness for the sacraments. How we explain, or do not explain, why we do what we do. These moments may seem minor or even petty. But over time, they shape how our witness, they shape how Christ is encountered, both by fellow Catholics and by those just beginning to approach the Church.
As a lay Catholic who has grown up in this Church, and continues to seek Christ within, I do not raise these questions lightly. I love Christ and I belong to His Church. And because I belong, I care deeply about how we represent Him.
One area where this becomes visible is in how we guide people who are entering the Church or preparing for the sacraments. I have heard candidates say that when they ask why a certain practice is done, the response makes them feel as though questioning means they are doubting or that they may not be ready to accept the faith. I have heard someone ask why Catholics make the Sign of the Cross and receive the answer, “We have never asked why. We just do it” and “It is the Trinity, so we honour the Trinity”. In another instance, the same question was responded with “If you are asking this question, it shows you are not ready be a Catholic.”
Since when did asking a question and seeking understanding mean doubting the faith or being unready to accept?
Conversion is a journey. Faith is journey. People come with different backgrounds and different levels of exposure. Some take longer to understand and discern. Are we giving them that space to discover, experience and discern?
There are also inconsistencies that leave people confused, not just candidates but even Catholics. In some places, taking a Saint’s name at baptism is strongly insisted upon, even when a candidate’s birth or given name already carries good meaning and does not conflict with the faith. In others, candidates are allowed to retain their names. My own Godchild kept her Tamil birth name. If a given name doesn’t conflict with the faith or has a Christian virtue, why then do we insist on a name change at baptism? If practices vary in this way, are we explaining clearly what is essential and what is tradition?
The same pattern also appears in preparation for marriage. The Church rightly requires serious preparation before couples receive the sacrament. While it is compulsory in Malaysia, the requirement, structure, and expectations vary in other countries. Again, if the format changes from place to place, are we clear about what is truly essential? Without that clarity, preparation can easily feel like just a tick in the box instead of a journey to embrace.
Not everything carries the same weight. Some things are central to Christ and what we believe. Others are ways we organise and express that faith. If we blur all these together, people will never understand the difference – or what really matters.
If we cannot explain clearly why we do what we do, then we cannot expect others to embrace it with conviction.
These are small matters. But small things, repeated over time, shape how Christ is encountered. The way we respond to questions, the way we explain our practices, the way we prepare people for the sacraments – all these quietly form the faith of others.
This is perhaps worth examining together. Because our witness, in these small everyday moments, shapes how many will first encounter Christ.
